midnightdemons7

I’ve been sleeping most of the day because I was up all night. I couldn’t sleep. I studied for a bit. Then wrote in my journal. I also played my game.

I didn’t eat today. I’m going to fast. I drank a lot of water through the night. My sister got me up around 3. I had my cup of coffee. It did nothing as when I came back to my room, I napped. I had some weird dreams. Thankfully none cause head pain.

There is going to be a blizzard tomorrow into Monday. I am not going to class on Mon. I’m not going out in the snow. Class will probably be canceled anyway. They just called a snow emergency.

I’m still feeling depressed. Just feel useless. But an old friend that I’ve known since kindergarten commented on my recent Pic on Facebook and he said he loves me. That made me feel better. I love the new tshirt I have on. It is so comfortable.

I have been trying to think how to make therapy better but nothing is coming to me. I know I got to talk about the suicidal feeling I’ve had all my life related to being trans. It’s four decades worth. I honestly don’t know how I survived. I remember the misery and pain. It was so tough. Some nights I just prayed for death.

In a Pandora mood

I am listening to Pandora as I don’t feel like listening to my music right now. I have had an easy day despite not sleeping all night. I just couldn’t sleep for whatever reason. I took my weight this morning before taking the weight loss drug. I lost about three pounds. That made me happy for a little bit.

I got up around 1pm for coffee and to have a corn muffin. I wasn’t very hungry. I played my game. I have been doing that most of the day. After my coffee, I took a nap. I was just so tired. I got up again around 530 to have dinner. I made some chicken sandwiches. I made two but I didn’t finish the second one. I then took the Latuda. I had already took the steroid pill as I got to take it with food. I had shaved after coffee and then after dinner, I showered. I feel a little better now than I did before.

I need to go over chap 2 slides. I started going through it last night when I couldn’t sleep but I really wasn’t taking the information in. I tried remembering mass and atomic weight and kept getting confused. It’s supposed to snow heavy on Mon. I hope classes are canceled. I might not go in if it’s bad out, even if they don’t cancel.

I haven’t done anything today but sleep. I am glad I showered. I miss my puppy. She is still with her daddy. I am hoping she comes home this weekend. But it might not happen. I hope she is doing ok.