midnightdemons7

Angry

I only got out of bed today because I had to pee. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have gotten up. I had some weird dreams about my mother and being in the hospital for some surgery. I hate these dreams because I always get a headache from them. I don’t know why when I dream about my mother, I get a headache afterwards. So odd.

I had my coffee and my last corn muffin. I wanted to make my pasta dish but I didn’t have my pasta as my niece used it to make her mac and cheese. I had some of it as I was hungry. The only other thing I have to do today is read for my history class and do the homework.

I tried calling the pharmacy which the people are completely incompetent. I am so angry at my pdoc for calling it in to that pharmacy and not the one in the square like I asked. So now I got to pay $25 for a generic medication because not only did he give me the script, he gave me a two month supply so I got to pay double. I am so mad.

Then bitch is complaining that we didn’t do the things she sent a text about. Like I can’t do half of what she asked. I tried to get the towels out of the washer but I couldn’t reach. The washer is so deep and my arms are short. I got a fucking headache again and a toothache. I managed to brush my teeth today. I had to do it as I didn’t do it yesterday. I have been bad with my ADLs. I am back to showering like once a week. I just can’t seem to do it more than that because of my damn foot. Going to be interesting to see how I am after tomorrow’s classes. I feel mad about having to cancel therapy because our schedules are just not in sync right now. I can only see her once a week. I thought I could possibly see her Wed but now that I have to go to campus, it isn’t possible. Ugh. This semester has been rough and with these damn headaches and now the CRPS out of remission, I hope I can keep the three classes.

I need to take a walk around the corner to the pharmacy for my meds. I just want a nap. I was laying down with Honey earlier. She is so sweet. Yesterday she leapt on my chest to lick my ear. She was in a loveable mood. I love her so much.

Saturday Blog 17102026

I had a difficult night trying to sleep last night because I was in pain. My foot flared up and my head was hurting. I couldn’t get comfortable. I was also thirsty but didn’t want to drink because I didn’t want to get up to pee.

I slept most of the afternoon after I got up for some coffee. I thought the coffee would keep me up so I could do my schoolwork but I felt so shitty and it was so cold in the house, I just wanted to be under the covers and warm. I put on a sweatshirt. I still have my flannel PJs on. I love them. They are so soft and comfy. Only thing that sucks is that the waistband is getting lose because I am losing weight around my middle. I keep having to pick up my pants when I stand up.

I finally got all three of my discussions for my gender class done. This is turning into a feminism class and I am disappointed. I thought there would be trans and non binary stuff in there but nope, all about women. And from what I can tell, heterosexual women. The women that have babies and sex with men.

I hope I sleep tonight. I think I will take a trazodone. My head finally feels normal after I got some sleep this afternoon. I had a PB&J for dinner. I didn’t want anything else. Been having them a lot lately. I need more bread. I never made it out today. Tomorrow I need to pick up my new meds. My psychiatrist finally called it in for me. And the pharmacy fucked up because there is no way I am paying $25 for a generic. I hate this pharmacy. The doc called it in to the wrong one. I woke up too late to call them as they close early on weekends.

Tomorrow I just got to do my history homework. I am so glad we are meeting in person again. I just hope the room doesn’t smell musty. I also hope she has graded some of the work we have turned in. I know my first quiz was a bomb. I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a C or a D on it.

Pressures

I didn’t wake up with a headache today or a migraine but I did wake up to pressure in my head. I had three phone calls today that roused me from my sleep. I got up around one for coffee as I had my meeting with my advisor at 130. The meeting lasted all of less than ten minutes. She basically just looked at my classes and said I had 18 credits left. I had miscalculated. I don’t need to take 3 classes for one of my last three semesters, just two classes. YAY! After next semester, I can take whatever the fuck I want as there are no more requirements for me to take. The end is coming.

I then had therapy. It was a mixed session. I had to explain to her what the spoon theory was. She had never heard it before. All I kept thinking about during session was that I had to groom and shower, groom and shower. But I forgot to brush my teeth. I will do that tonight before bed. I am cutting therapy to once a week because I need to attend class on Mondays. But I just got an email from my history professor and our classroom is ready! We are back to in person. I am relieved. It is the same classroom. I now need to go back to the grocery store for some bologna and bread. I need to have lunch in between classes.

I did shower and groom. I felt so much better after my shower. But now my foot is flared up and I have a slight headache. I tried doing my gender studies work but I can’t fucking think of something to say.

I had bought some stuff for a meal to make the other day. I was going to make it today but I don’t have enough energy. I will make it tomorrow. I don’t know how long it will take. Hopefully not that long but I know it will be at least three pans. I actually just checked the video on how to make it and it is much easier than I thought. There is no baking involved so just two pans. The person that made it said it takes 15 mins but we’ll see. It is a spinach sausage cheese pasta dish. It looks really good.

I am going to try and get back to the gender homework and read the next chapter. Hopefully this headache doesn’t intensify.

Lousy day with yet another migraine

I woke up with a killer migraine and didn’t sleep so great. I got about two hours and then woke up around 4 to pee. My head was still killing me and so was my foot and ankle. Around 1 I took pain meds. If I was going to be up, I might as well be in less pain. I couldn’t really sleep anyway. I was hurting too much between my head and foot.

I had my meeting with my psychiatrist. I told him I didn’t want to be alive anymore because the CRPS was out of remission. He asked if I needed additional support and I told him no. I was too busy to be admitted somewhere. It would only disrupt my studies. He said he did the paperwork so he could talk to my therapist.

Because I feel so lousy, I won’t be getting extra credit for going to a lecture tonight. I was really looking forward to it but I slept all afternoon with Honey. I feel so shitty. I told my psychiatrist it was tough trying to do all the schoolwork. My grades aren’t so bad right now but can get worse if these damn migraines don’t go away.

I got a message from my neuro that this would be the last steroid pack given and that other options will need to be tried if this continues. I realized I don’t have an appt with her so I responded to the nurse. Never got a response back. Fuck. I will call tomorrow.

I see my advisor tomorrow to get the hold off my acct. I will be registering for my 400 level psych course and another history class with the same professor. Unfortunately, the classes are spread out 4 days a week, so I will be on campus M-Th. Class time is roughly the same. I will be taking Principles of Psychotherapy for my psych class. I hope it will be fun. I am just taking the American history class because I love history.  I just wish my mind was more open to it and kept the things I learned. Fucking brain, man. Maybe I am too old for this.