midnightdemons7

Got things done

I didn’t sleep at all yesterday. I finally crashed around 630pm. I had a headache and I have one today too, though I think it is turning into a migraine. I wanted to shower last night but I lost energy. I wanted to take a shower before therapy today but I didn’t get up in time.

Therapy went ok. We talked about how bad I feel. She suggested partial hospitalization and I turned it down. I don’t want it. She suggested respite but there is none close to me. She asked what I was going to do when she went on vacation and I told her I would be ok.

After therapy, I had coffee. I tried to get the puppy outside but she was being stubborn. After I had my coffee, I took a shower and then shaved. I had to go pick up my meds but it was too early as the pharmacy was taking their meal break. I think I left around 3pm for the bus. I gave myself plenty of time to walk there. It was humid out. I was sweating and I hated it. I wasn’t wearing my hat as I forgot it. It wasn’t sunny out as it was supposed to rain. I grabbed a few items after I picked up my meds.

I came home and the puppy was whiny. I don’t know what she wanted. After I had something to eat, I took her for a walk. She seemed ok after that. It started to drizzle out so we went in and she started to whine again. I figured maybe she wanted to cuddle and that settled her down. I stayed with her until I had to go up to my room to take my night meds. The game is playing but I will just keep track of it. I was going to listen to it but this headache is really a bitch.

I had pain last night. I had a headache and my ankle was hurting. I missed the webinar I was supposed to attend. I just couldn’t do it with the headache. I took some Tylenol and my pain meds. But I was tossing and turning most of the night. I couldn’t find a comfortable position. So I got up and read for a bit. Next thing I knew it was 4am. Decided to stay up. I made a PB&J as I was hungry. I didn’t make coffee as I wasn’t in the mood for it just yet.

I went back to my room and tried to snooze. Failed. I took my meds around 8. I didn’t get up till 11 I think. I don’t remember. I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. It was hot out. I brought some change with me to buy another container of peanut butter but damn, it was expensive. Small jar for $5. Anyway, I didn’t bring enough money with me. I had to pay for my prescription because MassHealth wouldn’t pay for it. Jerks.

I got home all sweaty and stunk worse than I did. I need a shower and a shave. Don’t know about shaving. I am going to shower first and see how I feel. If my back doesn’t act up, I’ll shave.

I got my adjusted financial aid today. If it stays this way, I don’t have to pay for the semester. There still are no books for the classes I have in person. Next week I will start reading the gender book. I am still trying to get through the Neurosis book I started. Having headaches makes reading hard. Been trying to read at least one chapter a night.

I made a PB&J for dinner. I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want to cook. I had just enough peanut butter left to make the sandwich. Now I am out and I am sad. I am debating putting in a grocery order when I get paid on Mon. It will be tight but I think I can swing it.

Another headache day

I’ve had a headache since this afternoon. Every day for the past two weeks, I have had a headache or a migraine. I am so sick of them. Nothing really takes care of them. I take Tylenol or ibuprofen and the pain goes down to a simmer only when it wears off, it comes roaring back.

I had a good sleep. I slept until 6 because I had to pee and then I took my meds. I was able to go back to sleep till 11. Then I got up. Someone ate my pop tarts and I am not happy. I didn’t have anything with my coffee. The Nature Valley PB&J bars are gross. I won’t be buying them again. I want to make cornbread but I am out of milk. I suppose I could use half and half. It has milk in it. Maybe I will do that tomorrow.

I shaved and brushed my teeth after I had coffee. I had missed a spot on my face so I had to do it again. I hate my bathroom mirror as it isn’t close up. I often miss spots when I shave because of this. I can’t wear my glasses shaving.

I am tired. I didn’t do anything today except play with the puppy. She kept on going in and out of the house. It drove me mad. Then she would whine if we didn’t let her back out. She was playful today, which I liked. I got scratches on my chest where she pawed at me. Silly pup. I love her.

I need to review the PDF of the webinar I will be attending tomorrow. Some times are late and other talks are early. I wish it was chronological. It will be the rest of this week. I don’t know if it is an all day thing or not. It will be fun though, for me. I haven’t been to a suicidal talk in a long time. I miss the academics and research. I will become a member of the AAS again when I get paid next. It is $50 for students. I just hope I don’t have to be full time. I can only go half time.

I feel like I need to talk to someone about my headaches but I don’t know who. I don’t see my neuro until Oct. I am depressed and feel like I should talk to psych. Both probably. But I am not suicidal so maybe a psych er visit isn’t necessary. I am thinking about going to the ED for the headaches. They have been going on for too long.