midnightdemons7

Two classes and a final left

I went to class tonight and had to leave early because it gave me a panic attack with the review of the exam. The translation of 5’ -> 3’ with mRNA and then anti codon messed me up. I just couldn’t come up with the correct answer.

It was cold when I left campus. I was wearing shorts and a tshirt. The temp dropped and it was drizzly. I still had a stomach ache so I just took my meds without food when I came home. I am so tired. I am glad my homework is done. Tomorrow I will be seeing a friend I haven’t seen in more than 20 years. I will finally meet his husband. I cannot wait to see them. We will be going to the North End for some Italian food. I already forgot the restaurant we are going to.

I almost slept through my therapy appt. She called and I was like oh shit. It was like 10 minutes past. My five minutes was twenty. We talked after I logged on which thankfully was quickly. She was concerned about my bouts of suicidality and when I would need more support. I don’t need it right now and I told her so. It isn’t sticking around or lasting long periods of time. I told her on Monday there was a study on safety planning. I still haven’t had a chance to read it. I just been so tired. Last night I couldn’t sleep though. I kept thinking of doing some reading but I know if I do, I will be up an hour or two before I become sleepy enough to sleep.

After therapy I had my neuro appt. I asked her about Alzheimer’s disease as it runs in my family. She said the first thing is to do a cognitive test so she scheduled it after my surgery month. I can’t believe it will happen in a few weeks. I have my CT scan on Mon. It is earlier than I thought it was. I hope I can get a sub before I have to leave for it because I can’t eat two hours before it. I don’t know if I will have to drink contrast or not. I also see my pcp next week. A lot of appts next week.

I hardly slept last night. I just couldn’t sleep. The puppy’s ear was bothering her so she kept jumping off the bed, going to the kitchen, to the stairs, then back on the bed. It was driving me nuts and making me mad because he dumb parents refuse to take her to the vet.

I got up around 11. I had to go give a urine sample and do the ultrasound. I managed to get an appt today. Everything is clear but I still have urgency to go. Last night I had the runs and was scared to sleep in underwear so wore a diaper. I didn’t change when I went to my appt. I was embarrassed.

I came home tired and hungry. I had the Japanese rice dish i like. I had a full liter of water. I tried to nap but my phone kept going off. My bitch sister was pissed at my niece who didn’t have money for dog food so I bought it. I tried listening to the ball game but the app cut out after they scared five runs. It was 8-1 Sox last I heard.

I got two back to back appts tomorrow then class. I need to study but I am so tired. I got no energy and my thinking has been to suicide the past couple of hours. I just don’t want to be here.

I had a hard time going to sleep last night because of uti symptoms. I needed to pee like every 10 mins. I was very uncomfortable as I had burning and urgency. Finally the pyridium kicked in and my symptoms were relieved. I slept ok but did not get up in the morning. My sister woke me up when she let the puppy in my room. She was sniffing everything.

I got up and had a turkey sandwich. I got a text from my oldest niece that she was downstairs so I went down. I stayed for about an hour. My sister had half and half so I tried a toffee butter coffee. It was good. I don’t usually like flavored coffee. My sister made an escarole soup. It is not my favorite so I didn’t have some. My niece made brownies so I had some small pieces. It was so good as it was dark chocolate with chocolate chips.

I need a shower but bitch sister is cleaning the bathroom. I think I will go to my sister’s as the water pressure is better. I don’t need to groom as I am letting my beard grow again. Also letting my hair grow out a little bit. The shaving caused a little breakout of zits so I am waiting for it to heal before buzzing again.

I did most of my homework the other night when I couldn’t sleep. I just have one more assignment to do. I am going to read a chapter tonight. I realized while doing the homework, I don’t know what point mutation and reverse transcriptase are. I will need to know this for the exam. Sometime during the week I need to download exam 1 and go through it. It will be on the final

I just realized I need to do my meds for the week. Think I will do them then take a shower.