midnightdemons7

Rest day

I tried to sleep till noon but it didn’t happen. I woke up when my med alarm went off and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I just stayed in bed. My legs are sore. I have diarrhea and I feel lousy. I messaged my doc and she wants me to drink a lot of water and Gatorade. I bought the rehydration stuff that I like as I wasn’t going to CVS today. Walgreens doesn’t sell it. I am glad Star Market does. I got some other things.

I have been laying with the puppy most of the day to rest. The little shit took up the whole full bed. I had a little space to lay. But she cuddled with me so that was ok. I took some pics of her on me to remember it. She looks like a puppy still even though she is a year old. She is a young dog. She hasn’t peed or crapped yet. But then she hasn’t eaten or drank anything either. She doesn’t when her mother isn’t home. She is a weird dog. I tried to get her to go out but she kept turning around when I opened the door.

I had my appt with my psychiatrist today. He decided to decrease the Latuda to 30 mg to see if that lessens the fatigue and tiredness I feel. I made Shepard’s Pie for dinner. It is cooling off right now. I will have some when I finish the blog. I forgot to get gravy so I hope it isn’t dry. I used roasted garlic protein mashed potatoes. They tasted ok. Not as garlicky as I thought they would be.

I have been sneezing most of the day. It is driving me crazy. I hope to watch the Muppet Show before bed. I wanted to watch it last night but I needed sleep. I took some Ativan and fell asleep within an hour. I did wake up around 330am to pee but I was able to get back to sleep. Right now I got to keep my fluid intake up. If I get lightheaded again, I need to go to the ED per my pcp. I don’t know what is causing the diarrhea. I thought it was the senna but I didn’t take it last night. I took magnesium so I took that out of my box for tonight. I am eating different foods so not sure if it is a food thing or a supplement issue. I need a shower so bad but I am too tired. I will try and take one tomorrow. I am seeing my DMH worker tomorrow, or at least I am going to try and go into Boston. I plan on walking to the T stop that is a half mile away from me. I will have the weekend to rest.

Got my laptop back and what a damn hassle

I was excited that I got an email this morning saying my laptop would be delivered today. It came while I was on my way to class. I had a horrific day. I had groceries delivered and went up and down stairs a lot. Then I shaved my head. I had a horrible time sleeping. I felt a little woozy before I left for class. All week it has been go go go. I need a rest day. I also haven’t been drinking fluids.

I got the report from Dell saying they replaced a board. I thought my problem was solved until I logged on the laptop. I got the same damn screen!! I had to lookup my key which took some doing and I had to enter it like three times. Then my PIN got reset so I had to use my gmail account to reset my laptop to accept a new PIN. I was like WTF. I just want to write my blog and go to bed. The time on my laptop is wrong. It is off by an hour. I don’t care, I will deal with it tomorrow.

I have been thinking about therapy and how I feel supported but I don’t. I feel like we aren’t doing anything constructive or helpful. Like I should be doing something more than just talking about every day things or something. I don’t know. I just feel like I am not getting anything useful out of it.

I need to rest so I will write more later. I also need to drink some fluids. I will be peeing all night. Great…

I slept ok but had weird dreams. I had two cups of coffee when I got up. I really didn’t want to get up but I had therapy. I had the session in the kitchen on my phone because I wasn’t going to try to turn on the old laptop. Session was good. We didn’t talk about anything specific. It just turned out that way.

After session I played with the pup for a bit before going upstairs to get dressed. I didn’t want to go to class. I just wanted to lay with the pup. I had to go pick up my meds. After I picked up my meds I went to campus and did the few errands. I had to go to IT to get my account reset and then the bookstore to get my notebook. I also printed off the slides for class. There’s a lot of pages. I took a lot of notes.

Coming home was going well until I got to the hospital. Then we were delayed for a while. I felt like taking a cab home. I haven’t eaten anything all day. I was grumpy. I ate when I came home. I was bad on fluids. I didn’t drink anything while I was out. I got to do better tomorrow.

I am really exhausted. I am not looking forward to tomorrow.