midnightdemons7

Some goals done today

I slept really late today. I had spent the morning going to the bathroom every two fucking hours despite not drinking anything. I was really grumpy and wanted coffee. I wasn’t hungry. I figured today would be a fast day.

After I had my coffee I brushed my teeth and shaved. There were clean clothes in the kitchen that my sister washed so after I was done, I took a shower. My niece had come by and she wanted to help me with my school work but I wasn’t up to it. I am still not up to it. I have another fucking headache.

I haven’t done my meds for the week yet. Things are just moving slow today. I think I am feeling the effects of the Latuda being low. I feel out of sorts. My sister came in my room and told me I need to do something and I had no idea what she wanted me to do or how to do it. I keep spacing off.

Tomorrow is a holiday so I won’t be able to get in touch with my neuro. I am going to send a message anyway just in case she checks it. I got to do the lab report tonight and I don’t know if I am going to get it done because I got another fucking headache. This one is on the left side of my head. I might go to bed early. I just want to sleep.

A day with puppy

I got up in the morning. My niece wanted me to open the door for the pup’s daddy. He never showed up. Or if he did, he was locked out because I didn’t get the message until two hours later. I had my coffee and then I laid down with the puppy. It was so hard to get moving today. I didn’t want to do anything. I had to meet my DMH worker but around 2 I decided I wasn’t going to leave the house. We talked on the phone for a bit. The puppy had a bad dream while we were talking. I tried to calm her down. She nestled her head in my hand and arm. It was so cute.

I haven’t done any homework. I also haven’t been drinking fluids at all. It has been hot in my room and I have been sweating. I had to lie down because at one point I thought my head was going to explode. My neuro never got back to me.

I weighed myself today and am down a few ounces. My pcp’s covering doc authorized an increase in the weight loss drug. I hope it helps. I hate that I am not losing much weight. I have been on the restart of the drug for four months now. I am really discouraged.

I am listening to my top 25 though I don’t think there really is 25 songs in the playlist. And something is going on with my Fearless TV songs because all of them have gone to 0 counts which means Love Story has been played 0 times, which is not possible. It was in my top 25 but then some glitch happened. I don’t even know how to fix it.

All too well (ten min version)

I didn’t know what to choose for a title today so I picked a Taylor song that I love. I started listening to it on the way home last night and had to stop it when I walked in the door. I love listening to Red TV. It is so good. There is going to be a Taylor cover concert in my town but I don’t know when it will be. I didn’t see the date. I want to go.

I had planned on reading my textbook today but I have done nothing this afternoon since I woke up. I had two cups of coffee, one of them was after 530 so I will stay up. I need to read. And it is a long chapter. I have homework to do tomorrow. I want to get the reading done so I can do it.

I have been feeling really tired most of the day. I got another migraine. That makes 5 in a week. My neuro hasn’t got back to me on what she wants to do. I was hoping to hear from her today. Maybe tomorrow. I am supposed to see my DMH worker tomorrow afternoon. Weather is supposed to be decent. I might walk to the station. Depends on my mood. I have taken Tylenol nearly every day this week for one pain or another. My headache is getting worse. I haven’t taken anything for it, yet. I get sick of taking pills all the time.

I feel really depressed. Last night I had such a difficult time trying to sleep. I don’t think I fell asleep till after 2am or so. I read my book but it didn’t matter. I was just wired. I hate when I come home late but there is nothing I can do about it. I slept late so that was good. I was having a good dream before some noise outside woke me up. I had taken my morning pills around 730 when I went pee. I was reading an article that just came out about sleep and suicidal ideation. It was an interesting study. I hope I don’t have a hard time falling asleep tonight because I need to leave the house by 2 tomorrow.

The puppy has been with her daddy the last few days. I hope she comes home tonight. I miss her so much. Today my phone created a collage of pics of her. She was so small. It has been amazing watching her grow up.