midnightdemons7

First day out post op

I had to go to the hospital for some tests and woke up later than I wanted to. I kept having weird dreams throughout the night. It was hot in my room. I hate it. I will try and do something tomorrow or at least the weekend. I got to go to the pharmacy tomorrow morning for the weight loss drug as I am out of it. I meant to pick it up today but it wasn’t going to happen.

I thought I would have time to get my blood done before the scan but I was running too late. I had to drink the contrast stuff again. It tastes awful. I am glad I bought a Gatorade when I got off the bus. It was so hot out and the train I was on didn’t have AC. I then went to the blood lab and OMG the line was out the door. It was going to be awhile. I think I was there for more than an hour. Then there was a delay on the train I was on. I just had one stop to go. I decided to go to the grocery store and pick up some hamburger rolls. I also picked up some burgers as they had the eight for ten dollars deal. I was waiting for the bus but it never came and my bowels were starting to be a little untrustworthy. I ended up getting a lyft. The driver was god knows where. I was at the grocery store entrance. I told him that was where I was. He found me in his big SUV. I had put to drop me off at the pharmacy but he drove by my house so I asked to be let out there. I was just going to come home anyway.

The puppy was happy to see me. I missed her so much. I am glad I put the AC on for her. The house was so hot. I am still in pain but according to the CT report, it is just air. Thank god. My blood work came back ok too, although my sodium was on the low side of normal. I wish the pharmacy that has my meds carried the Gatorade hydrating stuff like my other pharmacy does. Bottle of that would be so good.

Yesterday, I don’t know what I did but I chipped my tooth. Now I got to see a dentist. Question is do I see the honest ones who don’t yell at me but want me to get my teeth pulled, or the jerks that want an arm and a leg and will yell at me. But chances are none of them will do anything to the tooth and I will just end up on antibiotics for a week. Ugh. I hate dentists. But I do need a cleaning. I will call them when I am feeling better.

Does anyone care?

I woke up with pain and it was radiating to my back. It was around 930 so I called the surgeon’s office after I took my meds. The secretary said the surgeon wanted a CT scan and she would call me back when she had a place and time for me to go to. I said I wanted one in Boston as I don’t have a car. She called about an hour later and still didn’t have a place for me so she had to call me back again. The third time she had a Boston site and it was tomorrow. She also said that my surgeon wants blood work. So I will leave early tomorrow to get that done before the CT.

I had my coffee but I wasn’t hungry. After the coffee, I laid down with the pup. It was cool in the room as the AC was on and it was like 90 degrees outside. I had to do some stuff for financial aid. I tried to do it yesterday but I wasn’t thinking clearly with all the pain and pain meds. I had to email my advisor as I needed her input on the form I had to submit.

When I was done with that, I wanted another cup of coffee and something to eat. I made a biscuit sandwich. It was good. I went outside with the puppy. I stayed until I was sweaty. I planned on taking a shower but I wasn’t sure when it was going to happy. I had dinner and then sort of snoozed until bitchy sister came home. She was so damn loud. I decided to shower before she got rid of the towel I put in the bathroom. I wanted to take off my beard but I just didn’t have the energy to do it. I somehow cracked a tooth when I made cookies. I brushed my teeth in the shower. Now I have to go to a dentist.

Tomorrow will be the first time leaving the house since surgery. I hope I do ok. I will take my time as I got to walk up the hill to the bus stop. I plan on putting some money on my t-pass. It’s supposed to be the same 89 degree weather as today.

A diamond in the rough

I didn’t sleep last night, at all. I was up for more than 24 hours. I am getting used to being up all hours of the night. I didn’t read my book at all because I just didn’t have the concentration necessary for reading. I was mostly on my phone looking at social media and playing my game.

I had therapy today and that was good. The call from the surgeon’s office came in during the last part of the session. It was just to collect information to pass along to the surgeon. I had to wait another couple of hours to hear back. My side has been killing me all day. We talked some more about being trans and how I wanted to die because I couldn’t transition to being a boy. The biggest thing was having top surgery and there was some hesitation as my BMI was in question. Luckily, I was able to find a surgeon that didn’t care about BMI. I told her that I had black and white thinking at this young age. We didn’t talk about it much but I feel like we need to because sometimes I still get stuck in the black or white thinking and it leads me down the narrow road.

After therapy, I had some lunch. I made some brown rice to go with the chicken I had. It was really good. Then I had a nap and my med alarm woke me up. I didn’t know if it was day or night so I ended up taking my morning meds. Then I realized it was night time so took my night time meds. Fuck. I screwed up. This is the second time I did something like this.

The surgeon called in some lidocaine patches for my pain. I am not going to pick the up as I know they are not going to work. I will just keep doing what I have been doing. I wanted to be seen but I guess that wasn’t necessary. I would have felt better and more reassured nothing was going on. He said he would call me in a few days to check on me.

They changed my pharmacy to the one around the corner so I need to add MassHealth to it so some of my prescriptions I won’t pay. This is so much easier for me for days I don’t feel like going out.