midnightdemons7

Father’s day 2026

I slept fairly well despite waking up every few hours to pee. I checked on the puppy each time and tried sleeping with her. I fell asleep on the bed and when I woke up I found her on her dog bed on the floor so went up to my room.

I didn’t get up till noon. I had barely enough half and half for one cup of coffee. My bro in law was supposed to get me more but hasn’t. I will get some tomorrow. There is a Starbucks at the market I go to so I will have a latte when I go.

I got an email from financial aid saying my information is missing. It’s Sunday so I will do the paperwork tomorrow either before or after my therapy appt. Hopefully the new form is out and I can fill it out for my advisor.

I did laundry yesterday and a few things around the house. The pup kept using the kitchen for bathroom duties despite me letting her out. Even today she did again. It is frustrating. I got to bring down the dog poop before my sister comes home or she’ll flip on me. I got to unload the dishwasher and put the stuff in the sink in it.

Red Sox play at 4 today. I am going to try and read my book before the game. They won the last two games. I have gone to bed before the games started because it is a late game. I have a tendency to be up all night if I am later than 10pm.

A shower can help so much

My puppy got me out of bed this morning at 9am. She was crying for my attention, literally. I petted her and went downstairs for coffee. As I was making it, I realized I stunk. It has been a few days since my last shower. I had planned on taking on yesterday but never had the energy to do it. So after my coffees, I got my clothes together. I went out on the porch and shaved my head as I needed a haircut. Then I took a shower. It felt so good. I used the body wash stuff that smells nice.

My sisters are in Maine for the weekend. It is just going to be me and the pup unless my niece comes home. I texted her but got no response, which is the usual. The bitchy sister did the pans and stuff I left in the sink last night. I was thankful. But she fed my burger to the pup and I am so mad at her for that. The puppy hasn’t touched her dog food the last few days because she is being fed human food.

I guess I will be eating my casserole instead of a burger tonight. I have to thaw another one out. I am so tired and got a headache. I just had my third coffee of the day. I made it iced because it is warm out. I had to shut my AC off because it is cold in my room. The wind is not making today very warm. I don’t know if the tornado hit or not. I haven’t heard anything. I went to bed around 8 last night as I got a headache and was tired from being up early. The past few days I have been up before 6am. I think it is because I have been going to bed before 10pm. My pain today has been ok. I haven’t had any sneezes so far but my allergies is making my nose run.

I got a call this morning from my long term disability insurance. They received my paperwork but not my PCP’s. They did their annual phone interview with me then after I sent a message to my pcp about the paperwork. I don’t know if the office is open today or not because I didn’t get a response. Today is Juneteenth, a holiday I don’t understand because the Civil War was over in April of 1865, after the 13^th amendment got ratified in Congress. Slavery was ended. So I don’t understand why when the union army entered Texas on June 19^th 1865, they just didn’t use the 13^th amendment instead of the Emancipation Proclamation.

I am really sad and I don’t really know why. I had a meeting with my therapist today and we talked about the song and my mother and being trans. We also talked about crying and how hard it is for me to do it. The last time I cried was the day my mother died, three years ago. I know there was a time I cried because I was happy but that was baseball related. There also was another song, someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi. Such a moving song it had me in tears the first couple of times I heard it. Now I am listening to it because I forgot what it sounded like. I like that I can find it quickly because it is on my most listened to playlist.

Cooking and tornado warnings

I got up around noon today feeling kind of good until I had a sneeze attack when I was in my kitchen. My abdomen started hurting again. It is just a mild pain now so I think the worst is behind me. My sister left me a note to cook the chicken I had taken out for my casserole for the puppy. She even left me a bag of rice to cook for her. But I needed the rice and chicken for my casserole. I did give some chicken to the pup. I worked on my casserole while I was talking to my DMH case worker.

The casserole came out awesome. Some time after it was done, I got a text saying there was a tornado warning in my area. It is currently very windy and rainy. I am glad the ballgame is over. They are supposed to leave for Seattle. I don’t know if their flight will be delayed because of the weather.

I mostly hung out with the pup today. We sat on the bed and cuddled. She didn’t know what to do with the wind. It was making her anxious. She kept going out only to come back inside. She also kept walking around the kitchen. I was cooking so I think she just wanted some food. She hasn’t been eating her dog food. But has been drinking water and treats.

Last night I felt a little down because I was in pain again. Seems every day I am dealing with some kind of pain. Being anxious for most of the day didn’t help. I ended up taking some Ativan last night with my night meds. I listened to music until my head couldn’t listen anymore and needed sleep. I think I drifted off sometime around 930pm. For the most part, I slept through the night. I think I got up once to pee but was able to get back to sleep. I had weird dreams. I am glad I am seeing my therapist tomorrow. I want to talk to her about some stuff that has come up since the last time I saw her. There is a song that I love that really has resonated with me between being trans and how my mother treated me all my life.