midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 11042026

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I woke up around 2 to pee and found it difficult to go back to sleep. Around 4 or 5 I was able to. Then I woke up around 8. I should have stayed up as I had to meet a friend, but I was so tired I went back to sleep. My friend texted me that she was here and I was like oh shit. I took a lyft to meet her.

It was so good seeing her. We talked for about an hour. She hated driving so I don’t think she will come back up this way. She will be moving to a town that has commuter rail so I can visit her then.

I came home and had to lie down. I rested for about two hours. I need to shave my head and shower but don’t have the energy to do it. Plus my sister has washed the inner lining of the shower curtain and hasn’t put it back up yet so I couldn’t shower even if I had the energy.

It is going to be nice all week. Today was a good day but the wind made things cold. Tues is expected to reach 80. I don’t know if I am ready for that. The rest of the week will be in the 70s which I can handle.

My sister told me today that if I clear my bed off the puppy might stay in my room. Yeah. I have been trying to clear my bed off for more than a year and have not been successful. The puppy has been left behind again. Her parents left this morning and I don’t think will return. I might sleep with the puppy tonight so she won’t be alone.

I got to read the chapter we are on. I don’t know if I will be able to as I am struggling to stay awake. I don’t know why I am so tired today. I had Starbucks instead of coffee. It was good but I couldn’t finish it as I was full. My stomach was also bothering me today. Tomorrow is my aunt’s birthday and I got invited to go to the restaurant. I don’t know if I should go because my stomach hurts every time I eat. It’s at 1130 so I might not be up at that time. We’ll see.

Sleepless night

I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I was awake for most of it. I don’t know what time I finally went to sleep. I have been sleeping on and off all day.

I had my meeting with my psychiatrist yesterday. It went ok. I got some more trazodone. I probably won’t see him again till after my gallbladder surgery. After I met him, I had my therapy appt. We talked about school and things.

I didn’t have coffee today. I had a bowl of cereal. My stomach has been upset since yesterday. I didn’t feel like eating so I took an Ensure with my meds. I spoke with my pcp’s RN. My weight is back up over 200. I am not happy. But then again, I have been eating a lot this week.

I slept most of the afternoon. I was so sleepy. I thought about doing some school work but I think I am going to go to bed. I just feel so tired. My stomach still hurts. I got to drink some fluids as I really haven’t drank anything the past two days. I don’t want to get dehydrated.

Tomorrow I am seeing a friend I haven’t seen in a few years. It will be good to meet up again. I can’t wait.

How did I get so jaded

I had almost eight hours of sleep last night. My sister woke me up, I am guessing around 2 and then I fully woke up to pee at 4. I sort have been up since then but I slept for an hour or two in the morning. I thought I had therapy at 10 so set my alarm but it turns out it is tomorrow afternoon, not today. I have been so messed up today.

I managed to shave, shower and brush my teeth. I had two cups of coffee. The second killed my stomach. I hate that the weight loss drug is taking away my love of coffee. I wanted to get to campus early so I could talk to the teacher but didn’t make it in time. On the way to campus, I was listening to runaway train by soul asylum. It is my favorite song. It resonated with me and I have been playing it on repeat.

I got to campus and just happened to check my student email. The teacher was doing class on zoom and was not going to be on campus. Fucking fuck. I got home just as class started. I wasn’t able to take notes but I listened. It was too cold to stay outside and listen so I walked home from the bus stop. I came home and there was pee all over the kitchen floor. I cleaned it up and just as I was finishing, my bitchy sister came home. I was listening to the zoom and she started bitching about her daughter and the puppy. She wanted me to text her but I don’t know what she wanted as I wasn’t listening. After lecture, I texted my niece. I got no response. She is still not home. I don’t know where she is.

I had Oreos for supper. There was nothing but ham to eat and I wasn’t going to have another day of it. I have been eating a little bit all week. I also had an Ensure because I wasn’t sure how many calories I consumed with the cookies. I couldn’t eat the sleeve like I normally would do. I drank the milk though. I am so very tired. I might have another night of sleeping until the early morning hours. I was asleep by 9pm last night, which is rare for me. Might make it two in a row.