midnightdemons7

President’s Day 2026

I slept late again as I was up every couple of hours peeing despite not drinking anything. I had a rough time with getting myself presentable for therapy. I just wanted to sleep all day. I talked about how things were going and she spent a little too long on it. Then she asked about how I felt last week and I told her I was depressed and I didn’t know where the grief was coming from. My head felt weird the whole time we were talking. I told her I felt a little out of it last night with my sister and she thinks I dissociated for a little bit.

I had a cup of coffee and a scone my sister made. I also had some yogurt. My stomach was still bothering me though I don’t know why. I just know I ended up sleeping for a few hours when I got back to my room. I was just so tired. I wrote a message to my psychiatrist telling him I had no ATP (energy) left in me and I don’t know if I am producing it anymore. My head hurt so much. I also told him that my brain feels weird.

Around 6, I decided to finally do my lab report. The hardest part was getting the pics in the file. The follow up part was difficult. I had a hard time trying to undo the highlight. I couldn’t figure it out no matter what I did. So I just left it highlighted. I created my dye and drew it and then took a pic of it to add to the file. Now I got to do pre lab for tomorrow.

I hope I wake up before 11 am tomorrow. I need to leave around noon to get to lab. I don’t know how my legs are going to be. I feel so sluggish. Last night I had a hard time trying to fall asleep. I kept thinking of doing something school related but couldn’t bring myself to do it. It took me like three hours to read chapter 2. If I had to re-read it, I would be up all night.

I have been drinking fluids and it doesn’t seem to make a difference in how I feel. I just go to the bathroom more. I am so tired of being tired. My psychiatrist called in my Ativan but the pharmacy has processed it yet. I got to call tomorrow. I am running low. I did take off the recycling off my bed. Tomorrow is supposed to rain. Great. I hope it isn’t a downpour.

Some goals done today

I slept really late today. I had spent the morning going to the bathroom every two fucking hours despite not drinking anything. I was really grumpy and wanted coffee. I wasn’t hungry. I figured today would be a fast day.

After I had my coffee I brushed my teeth and shaved. There were clean clothes in the kitchen that my sister washed so after I was done, I took a shower. My niece had come by and she wanted to help me with my school work but I wasn’t up to it. I am still not up to it. I have another fucking headache.

I haven’t done my meds for the week yet. Things are just moving slow today. I think I am feeling the effects of the Latuda being low. I feel out of sorts. My sister came in my room and told me I need to do something and I had no idea what she wanted me to do or how to do it. I keep spacing off.

Tomorrow is a holiday so I won’t be able to get in touch with my neuro. I am going to send a message anyway just in case she checks it. I got to do the lab report tonight and I don’t know if I am going to get it done because I got another fucking headache. This one is on the left side of my head. I might go to bed early. I just want to sleep.

A day with puppy

I got up in the morning. My niece wanted me to open the door for the pup’s daddy. He never showed up. Or if he did, he was locked out because I didn’t get the message until two hours later. I had my coffee and then I laid down with the puppy. It was so hard to get moving today. I didn’t want to do anything. I had to meet my DMH worker but around 2 I decided I wasn’t going to leave the house. We talked on the phone for a bit. The puppy had a bad dream while we were talking. I tried to calm her down. She nestled her head in my hand and arm. It was so cute.

I haven’t done any homework. I also haven’t been drinking fluids at all. It has been hot in my room and I have been sweating. I had to lie down because at one point I thought my head was going to explode. My neuro never got back to me.

I weighed myself today and am down a few ounces. My pcp’s covering doc authorized an increase in the weight loss drug. I hope it helps. I hate that I am not losing much weight. I have been on the restart of the drug for four months now. I am really discouraged.

I am listening to my top 25 though I don’t think there really is 25 songs in the playlist. And something is going on with my Fearless TV songs because all of them have gone to 0 counts which means Love Story has been played 0 times, which is not possible. It was in my top 25 but then some glitch happened. I don’t even know how to fix it.