midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 25072026

I slept really late so I didn’t get my meds or my library book. I didn’t want to get up but I was feeling restless. I had some coffee but I didn’t know what I wanted to eat. My sister called me saying she got home from work if I wanted to come down. I missed her all week. I went down after bringing some recycling down.

I didn’t stay too long because they wanted to sit in the sun and I got hot pretty quick. I couldn’t stand the sun being on me. Despite sleeping late, I still feel tired. Game is on but they are losing. I don’t feel like listening today. I feel depressed and sad.

The puppy is supposed to be home soon. I don’t know when though. I hope it is soon as I miss her. It is hot today. My room is hot so I have the AC on. I need cool air. I was tossing and turning most of the night. I had to pee a few times during the night but was able to get back to sleep. I had some weird dreams about the lab and working in research again. It seems to be a recurring dream where I have to get these specimens done to ship out for these researchers but they never tell me where they are going. It’s frustrating.

I want some ice cream. I have been craving it the last few days. I was going to get it today if I went out. But I never did. I will have to go out Mon and get my migraine med as tomorrow’s bus schedule sucks. I am not spending an hour waiting around for the bus. Sox lost. It was a shut out. Thank god they got a hit or it would have been a no hitter. Now I can read my book for a little while before going to bed. I like that I am able to continue reading after finishing a chapter. It’s a short book so I should finish it soon. The series book that I am into is ready for pickup at the library. I will get that on Monday.

Last night I thought about writing another blog and just titling it “grievances”. After my shower, or rather before my shower, my right thigh was hurting and then my lower leg started cramping on me. I was so upset. Seems I am getting more pain lately. Something is wrong with my left shoulder again. It hurts for whatever reason. I think I might have slept wrong on it. Every day I have a new pain somewhere in my body other than my usual places. It makes me depressed. I feel hopeless. I don’t think I am ever not going to feel pain somewhere. The sorrow I feel is so heavy. Been dealing with pain nearly half my life and since I was eight with mental pain. It never goes away. It haunts me. And it makes me want to die.

I am having palpitations and feeling lightheaded. Not sure if it’s anxiety or being dehydrated or both. I don’t remember if I drank yesterday and today I’ve been having to force myself to take some sips. I’ve had my coffee and a smoothie. I didn’t sleep good last night. I woke up around 1am and had sneeze attack. I couldn’t sleep after that. I read my book but couldn’t read more than one chapter. Eventually I fell asleep until bitch sister woke me up. She is an elephant on the stairs. I had to pee. I never went back to sleep.

I figure i go to the library to get my book and the pharmacy to get my migraine med. But it was delayed when my sister wanted me to look out for the concrete guys fixing the walk. They just left when I became lightheaded. I tried taking a nap but kept getting palpitations. I brushed my teeth and shaved. Then felt a spot where I missed. Always miss a spot and can never get a close shave. Sometimes I can get it with my electric shaver. But it sometimes gives me ingrown hairs after.

I keep having a sneeze attack and I don’t know why. Pollen count is less than medium. I think it is scents. My sister has a new hand soap in the bathroom. And my shave gel has a scent.

I got to take a shower. Probably will in an hour. No idea what I’ll wear as my clothes are in the hamper. I don’t feel like doing laundry.

I weighed myself this morning and there was no change. Past three weeks have been the same weight. I know tracking my steps has been difficult as I haven’t been leaving the house that much. If I do go anywhere it is usually with a car. Other than picking up my meds, there hasn’t been a reason to leave the house.

Game is on tonight. It is a nice warm night. Definitely baseball weather.

Couple of errands

I did a couple of errands today after I spoke with my DMH worker. It took me almost an hour to get motivation to leave the house. I was tired and I don’t know what is making me so tired lately. I could barely stay awake during my therapy session yesterday. But then I was up all night in pain. I tried explaining chronic pain to my case worker and I think I fell on deaf ears.

I slept late again today as my puppy is with her dad. It was awfully quiet here this afternoon. I had my coffee and not much else. I wasn’t really hungry. After my appt, I eventually got dressed and made it to the bus stop in time. The bus just pulled up as I approached. I returned my library books and went to get the new one but I couldn’t remember the name of the book. Then I picked up my meds. I have to go back tomorrow because I didn’t have money for the migraine meds. I don’t get paid till tomorrow. I forgot that.

I was eating some granola as I was hungry after having a sandwich for supper and I think it further broke my tooth. Fuck. I got to figure a way to see that dentist that does sedation. It really sucks my insurance doesn’t cover more than what I pay for.

I have the day off tomorrow aside from needing to pick up my migraine med. I can make a few phone calls if I am up to it. I don’t have weekend plans. Sox are off today so I can read some more of the TB book. It is really interesting.