midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 21032026

I tried sleeping with the pup last night but her daddy came and took her. I then tried to sleep in my bed and all I did was toss and turn. I couldn’t fall asleep for nothing. I then had dreams that gave me headaches when I did eventually fall asleep. It just made for a slow day today. I had a cup of coffee and some cornbread. I haven’t been too hungry lately.

My oldest niece came by so I went downstairs to see her. My sister, her, and my cousin are planning a trip to Italy. They are visiting all the places throughout the country. I don’t know if they will see my cousins there or not.

I came back upstairs and needed a nap. I feel so tired. I rested for about an hour. Honey came home. I was happy about that. I feel so blah today. I want to shower but my sister is washing the curtains. I feel so dead inside. My chest hurts. There is a pressure in the middle. I’ve had it before so I know it is not cardiac. I just feel so depressed. I wish I was dead. I thought about OD’g again. I don’t have the energy to follow through with it though. Everything is a struggle right now.

It’s cold today and the wind is making it colder. I had to put on a long sleeve shirt. Supposed to rain tomorrow and possibly snow Mon. Going to be fun going home on Monday night from class. I will be sure to wear my jacket so I don’t freeze. I know I am probably tired because of the weight loss drug. The first few days are always tough adjusting to it.

I got to do some reading today for school. I have been putting it off all week. I wish my head didn’t feel so foggy and sleepy. Think I will rest for a half hour and then hit the books. Give the Robaxin time to work on this chest pressure.

I had an advising appt at 1 so I had planned to be up around 1130 so I could have coffee. 1230 came and I was still in bed. I just couldn’t get up. I logged on my laptop and checked email and stuff before the appt.

The appt went well. As long as I take 6 credits for the next year, a summer course, and a 1 credit course, I could graduated spring of 28.

After the appt I brushed my teeth and made coffee. I also petted the pup. I wasn’t hungry. Today was weight loss drug day. I lost 2 lbs. I am just under 200 but not by much. Immediately after the shot, my stomach got upset. I just had one cup of coffee and then I snoozed with the puppy.

I did a lot of walking yesterday as I went grocery shopping and picked up my meds. I didn’t eat but I made sure I drank. Today is a little harder keeping up with fluids as I am so tired. I snoozed for a bit this afternoon. I decided to make a tuna sandwich if we had bread. We did. I forgot to buy hamburger rolls for my chicken sandwiches.

My sister wants me to come down but I got a pup on my foot. She has been cuddly lately. I love it. I might have to sleep with her tonight if my niece doesn’t come home. My niece likes to take off on weekends.

I am having the most difficult time sleeping lately. I just stay awake for hours before I finally fall asleep around 3 or 4 am. Last night it was around 5. My feet were ice cold so that didn’t help. By the time they warmed up, I wasn’t sleepy anymore. I still haven’t gotten my grades back. I am so nervous I didn’t do well. I got to read a chapter tonight. Classes begin again Mon. Only a month and a half left in the semester.

In this kind of mood today

Therapy and anger

I slept pretty good last night but my muscles were hurting me when I woke up, including my lower back. It’s cold today so I think that is why. I got up later than I wanted to. I had two cups of coffee and some cornbread that I made the other day. I feel so sleepy.

I had therapy today and got angry of the things were talking about. I asked her what to do about it and she said to write it down. My sister painted my mother’s jewelry box and I am so angry. She has taken away nearly everything my mother had in the house and never asked anyone if it was ok, she just did it. Makes me so mad. Then you toss in the world shit and the state of the states and omg anger on top of anger.

After therapy, I went to hang out with the pup. I laid down with her. I don’t feel like eating. I thought of heating up some soup. But I am not hungry. I will just take an Ensure with my meds tonight. I was going to get my meds but I feel so tired. I will get them tomorrow after I go grocery shopping. I need to pick up a few things.

My check for UMB hasn’t cleared yet. I made an appt for advising today. I am choosing electives next semester, some fun classes. I still haven’t gotten my grade for exam 1 yet. I am so anxious about it. I did the pre-lab for next week. I plan on reading a chapter or two so that I am caught up.

I feel so down today. My head feels like it is in a fog. I just want to sleep. I showered and groomed yesterday. It felt good. I am letting my beard grow in. It is all stubble right now. When I get my check, I am going to get my head shaved. I have been letting it grow because I was too lazy to keep up with the shaving. It doesn’t take me long to actually do it but it does require a lot of energy to do it. I got to want to do it and make it happen.