midnightdemons7

Cooking and tornado warnings

I got up around noon today feeling kind of good until I had a sneeze attack when I was in my kitchen. My abdomen started hurting again. It is just a mild pain now so I think the worst is behind me. My sister left me a note to cook the chicken I had taken out for my casserole for the puppy. She even left me a bag of rice to cook for her. But I needed the rice and chicken for my casserole. I did give some chicken to the pup. I worked on my casserole while I was talking to my DMH case worker.

The casserole came out awesome. Some time after it was done, I got a text saying there was a tornado warning in my area. It is currently very windy and rainy. I am glad the ballgame is over. They are supposed to leave for Seattle. I don’t know if their flight will be delayed because of the weather.

I mostly hung out with the pup today. We sat on the bed and cuddled. She didn’t know what to do with the wind. It was making her anxious. She kept going out only to come back inside. She also kept walking around the kitchen. I was cooking so I think she just wanted some food. She hasn’t been eating her dog food. But has been drinking water and treats.

Last night I felt a little down because I was in pain again. Seems every day I am dealing with some kind of pain. Being anxious for most of the day didn’t help. I ended up taking some Ativan last night with my night meds. I listened to music until my head couldn’t listen anymore and needed sleep. I think I drifted off sometime around 930pm. For the most part, I slept through the night. I think I got up once to pee but was able to get back to sleep. I had weird dreams. I am glad I am seeing my therapist tomorrow. I want to talk to her about some stuff that has come up since the last time I saw her. There is a song that I love that really has resonated with me between being trans and how my mother treated me all my life.

Got stuff done

I’ve been up since 430am. I woke up to pee and couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up soon after my sister left for work. I had my coffee and tried to get the puppy outside. She did go but ended up pooping in the house anyway. She hasn’t peed yet and she has been out a few times. I think the wind is making her anxious because she keeps going around in circles and then wanting to come in the house.

I was able to take down most of my recycling. I took down like six bags. One is still in the kitchen because I had brought it down but forgot about it. I took out the smelly trash and my trash. I must have gone up and down the stairs at least eight times. I am tired. My back hates me. It has been flared up the last couple of days for whatever reason and today just threw it in spaz mode. I was not carrying anything heavy (they were all empty bottles of Gatorade or old mail) but I hate stairs. My legs are going to be sore later.

I tried snoozing with the puppy but she kept moving and then would snooze and have these jerks of her body. It was hard to sleep with that going on. I did get a cute puppy eyes pic of her. This is after I told her let’s go outside. She is so stubborn.

I wanted to make my casserole today but couldn’t find the energy. It is a lot of work but it is so good. I will try and make it tomorrow. I have the chicken defrosted. I was tempted to make a roasted chicken breast for dinner but had hot dogs instead. The puppy wanted some but I told her no. I did make her eggs this afternoon when I had my lunch. I shared that with her. She loves eggs.

I am tired. I don’t know if I am going to listen to the ball game. They lost last night and I don’t know the pitcher that is pitching tonight if it is worth it. They are up against Scherzer who is having a terrible year so maybe they can beat him. I need to read my book though. I meant to read it yesterday after my psych appt but never got around to it because of the back cramps. I had to lie down for a bit. I am feeling anxious for some reason. I had palpitations earlier today. I don’t know why I am nervous. Maybe all the up and down stairs messed with my system or something. I need to shower as I have been sweaty today. The air has been humid even though outside is nice. Just feels stuffy in the house. I had to turn on the AC in my room because it was almost 80 degrees.

My abdomen pain has been ok so far. Sneezing still hurts me though not as bad as last week. It is more of a dull ache now. I think resting has been helping the pain go away. I just hope it is gone by the time I see the surgeon next week for follow up. I don’t want this lingering.

My Sox suck

The Sox are breaking me. They are losing again tonight. I stopped listening after the 4^th run was scored. Taylor time.

I had two cups of coffee today and I am still burping it up. I had an appt with my psychiatrist that lasted about ten minutes. It was like a hi and bye visit I swear. There wasn’t really much to talk about. My depression is okay at the moment. PTSD symptoms are in check. My sleep is still fucked but I am sleeping.

I have been tired most of the day. I didn’t get anything done that I wanted to do. My pain is better. I am having a little discomfort but it is minor. It is not as bad as it was this weekend. I finally think I am on the mend. I tried a few times to nap but nothing came of it.

I am going to try and get the recycling downstairs tomorrow. I think three trips will get most of it out of my room. I am out of Gatorade right now. I need to go to the store and get some more. I also need to go to the post office and get my book out in the mail for someone. I think I will do that on Thursday.

Better than yesterday

I woke up in a little pain today but not as bad as it has been the past week. After moving around a little and taking Tylenol, I felt better. I went to the ED on Saturday night because the pain got so bad and I couldn’t find a comfortable position to be in. My white count had gone up since Thurs and they didn’t know why. I didn’t have an infection. They think it was just inflammation. I don’t see the surgeon until the end of next week and he has not contacted me since a few days after surgery and the onset of this pain.

My pcp called me today asking how I was. I said I was feeling a bit better and what to do about the elevated white count. She said the surgeon should handle it but if he didn’t she would. She assured me it was normal to have an elevated white count after surgery as it is a sign of healing.

I had therapy today and we talked about my ED visit and of course my puppy. We talked about the anxiety around my financial aid and the hassle I have to go through to get it. I should be able to redo the forms this week. She asked if I was ruminating about the anxiety and I said no. I also told her I was seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and it feels like ages since I last saw him.

I took a shower after I had something to eat. I took out a burger for dinner. I trimmed my beard down. I was tempted to give myself a haircut but I didn’t want to hurt myself. It took a lot of energy just trimming my beard down and then showering so I am glad I didn’t do that. I tried to take a nap after but I couldn’t rest my mind. I wasn’t feeling really sleepy anyway.

I got to make some headway into the book I am reading. I haven’t touched it in like a week. It was due last week. They extended my due date. I am glad. I need more time to read. The Sox are off tonight so it is a good night to read.