midnightdemons7

Coffee at midnight

I have been in a sleep haze the past couple of days because I did not sleep Friday night. I slept most of the day yesterday because I was so tired. I didn’t do anything I wanted to do. I didn’t do much today either. I filled my med boxes for the week and managed to make something to eat. I didn’t eat yesterday. I just had ensure.

I had coffee today but it didn’t wake me up. I ended up taking a three hour nap. I need to do schoolwork. I hate these stupid discussions and one is really misogynistic that I don’t want to do it. I also have to study for my history midterm. I have to reread the annotations to refresh my memory. I don’t want to do any of it. I just want to sleep.

I feel so blah. I need to shower and brush my teeth. I will do that before bed tonight. I made a fried egg sandwich. I had been craving one the last few days. Thankfully, the back spasms have gone away. I don’t know if the muscle relaxant was causing me to feel dizzy and nauseous while I was so sleep deprived. It was awful because all I could do was lay down. I want pancakes. I have to make them from scratch, which is fine because I think they taste better than the mix. I will probably make them on Tues when I have more time in the day.

Random stuff

I got up around 11 because I had to have coffee before my meeting with my instructor. I thought about making something to eat but nothing interested me. I just had coffee. Honey wanted to go out so I let her out. I caught her doing a stretch and took a pic at the right time. I love when she does her cat stretch. She is so cute.

I met with my instructor and she must have sent me like six different link to various things. I don’t even remember what half of them are for. I had to sign up for one thing and get in touch with a department for another as I want to be a social worker therapist. I guess UMB used to have social work but now it is human services. I still don’t know what the presentation is supposed to be about just that it needs to be two slides. I am stressing out. There is no class on Mon. I am glad. I will just have my history class.

I had a break between appts so I decided to make a tuna sandwich. I put Dijon mustard on it to make it taste a little different. I couldn’t eat the whole thing. I only ate half. I played my game until it was time for therapy. I had a good session and was grateful my back didn’t seize up in spasms while we were talking though it felt kind of rough. I had sent her a message saying I was hurting and she understood. I told her I felt hopeless about the CRPS and also what my pcp said about the neuro dept. I don’t think there is anything that can be done differently. I just wish the pain meds caused sedation but it doesn’t. I end up staying awake all night and then sleep during the day so I got to be judicious about taking them, which really sucks. I worry about class and how going to campus will affect me. I try not to do anything on days that I have off.

I still worry how next semester is going to be for me. I have class 4 days a week on campus. I tried looking for another 400 level class. The only one that I could find was Trauma and it was remote on Fridays. I didn’t want to take it online. So I am keeping the classes and hope that I can attend at least 90% in person. I took my gender midterm and got a C on it. It was open book but I only opened the book for one question. I really don’t want to answer the discussion question for this week because it is about male sexuality and how they hype it up in the locker room. I have until Sunday to do it.

I had tater tots for dinner because I didn’t want anything else. I started my grocery list and I hope I can afford it this month. I am behind on my electric bill so I need to put money toward that this month. Next month is birthday month so I need to shrink my money a little more. My bitchy sister is going to be 50. I am not sure what we are doing. I know she wants to go some place but I don’t know where.

I got such a headache again and my foot is flared up. Still debating on pain meds. I am going to take some Tylenol for the headache. I started the new muscle relaxant today. I hope it works. Doc only gave me a 10 day supply though. I am not happy about that. She said she was going to give me enough to cover me. 10 days is not enough. Ugh. I will just have to request a refill in a few days.

Busy day with appts

I woke up around 4 to pee and had a hard time going back to sleep. I slept for a few hours until my alarm went off at 10 and then I got up because I knew the bus would be tricky catching it. I had my coffee but I wasn’t hungry. I planned on getting a Starbucks drink when I got to near my appt for my pcp. I still had money from the gift card.

My pcp and I talked in great detail about my back and the CRPS bullshit. I told her I felt hopeless about it because I have been in pain every day for the last few weeks. She is going to send a message to my neuro to see if something can be done but I don’t think there is anything that can be done. She asked what I wanted and I told her a muscle relaxer would be ideal. We talked about different ones and then settled on one that had least interactions with my meds. Then we talked a little about other stuff. She wants me to do the Cologuard thing again. I see her again in Dec. I didn’t talk about the weight loss drug because I didn’t feel like it.

I left and went to see my DMH worker. My bowels decided to explode when I got to her office. Luckily, I made it to the bathroom in time. I still went when I came home. I have such nerve pain going on right now it’s not funny.

I had a good meeting with my DMH worker. She wanted me to try acupuncture and I said I don’t believe in it. She suggested a pain doc and I said they were only for injections. She is under the impression they offer more. I don’t know where she got that information but the pain docs I have seen have all suggested either a psychologist or injections. My back was getting kind of tender sitting there and when I left, it immediately started spazzing. I stopped at the grocery store to get some bread on the way home. There is one near her office. I just missed the train but another one came a few minutes later.

The last block that I walked before my house I swear turned into a mile long block. I just wanted to go home and have something to eat as I was starving. I wanted the pasta dish I made. It tastes even better. The sauce is all on the bottom though so all the pasta is stuck together with the sausage on top. It was still delicious. I had a little bowl because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to eat a big one. I want a PB&J later.

I hope I get paid tomorrow and not Mon. I really need to get more Gatorade. I only bought four bottles yesterday. I have two left. I need the hydration. Tomorrow I got two appts and I need to go to the square to pick up my meds. I would have done it today but I was too hungry and in pain with my back. I am deciding if I should read the stuff for my gender class. I just want to take a nap. I am exhausted.