midnightdemons7

Headaches in a row

My cycle of headaches that come in a row have returned because the weather is crappy. There are storms in the area. Tomorrow we are supposed to have thunderstorms so I am sure I will have another headache tomorrow, if not a migraine.

My sister woke me up when she was getting ready for work. She is so loud in the morning. If I am in a good sleep, I won’t hear her but sometimes I don’t sleep that deep. I had an early start to my day. I got up around 8 or 9, I forget. I wanted to go to the post office and I should have gone because it was sunny. It started to rain after my therapy appt so I didn’t go out.

Therapy was hard today. We talked about my father which lead to me holding on to feelings rather than expressing them. I told her when I first started therapy, it was hard because I was always told what went on in the house should stay in the house. It brought back memories of all the ways I held on to my anger after a huge fight I got into with my sister. I ended up leaving the house and didn’t want to return. I eventually went home late but I never really lost my temper after that day. I held things inside. I was about 14.

After therapy I just hung out with the puppy. We spent the day together and she got upset when I went to my room this evening. She gave me the puppy eyes. I got to get some treats for her. I know that is what she is looking for. I tried to sleep or nap on the bed but I just can’t for some reason. I don’t know if it is because it was my mother’s bed or because the pup keeps getting startled and it startles me so I can’t rest. It was like that the other night when I tried to sleep with her. I did fall asleep for a little bit but then I realized she was sleeping on the floor. I went back up to my room.

I asked my sister if she could take me to the grocery store and she said she would pick the stuff up for me as she had to do something after work. I got dressed for nothing. I was hoping it would stop raining so I could go to the post office but it never did. I feel like shit right now and might end up going to bed early. I already took my night meds. I finished off the casserole today. It was so yummy. I am sad it is gone. I took out a burger for tomorrow. I need to go to that grocery store that has them for $10. I think I have two more burgers left in the freezer.

Father’s day 2026

I slept fairly well despite waking up every few hours to pee. I checked on the puppy each time and tried sleeping with her. I fell asleep on the bed and when I woke up I found her on her dog bed on the floor so went up to my room.

I didn’t get up till noon. I had barely enough half and half for one cup of coffee. My bro in law was supposed to get me more but hasn’t. I will get some tomorrow. There is a Starbucks at the market I go to so I will have a latte when I go.

I got an email from financial aid saying my information is missing. It’s Sunday so I will do the paperwork tomorrow either before or after my therapy appt. Hopefully the new form is out and I can fill it out for my advisor.

I did laundry yesterday and a few things around the house. The pup kept using the kitchen for bathroom duties despite me letting her out. Even today she did again. It is frustrating. I got to bring down the dog poop before my sister comes home or she’ll flip on me. I got to unload the dishwasher and put the stuff in the sink in it.

Red Sox play at 4 today. I am going to try and read my book before the game. They won the last two games. I have gone to bed before the games started because it is a late game. I have a tendency to be up all night if I am later than 10pm.

A shower can help so much

My puppy got me out of bed this morning at 9am. She was crying for my attention, literally. I petted her and went downstairs for coffee. As I was making it, I realized I stunk. It has been a few days since my last shower. I had planned on taking on yesterday but never had the energy to do it. So after my coffees, I got my clothes together. I went out on the porch and shaved my head as I needed a haircut. Then I took a shower. It felt so good. I used the body wash stuff that smells nice.

My sisters are in Maine for the weekend. It is just going to be me and the pup unless my niece comes home. I texted her but got no response, which is the usual. The bitchy sister did the pans and stuff I left in the sink last night. I was thankful. But she fed my burger to the pup and I am so mad at her for that. The puppy hasn’t touched her dog food the last few days because she is being fed human food.

I guess I will be eating my casserole instead of a burger tonight. I have to thaw another one out. I am so tired and got a headache. I just had my third coffee of the day. I made it iced because it is warm out. I had to shut my AC off because it is cold in my room. The wind is not making today very warm. I don’t know if the tornado hit or not. I haven’t heard anything. I went to bed around 8 last night as I got a headache and was tired from being up early. The past few days I have been up before 6am. I think it is because I have been going to bed before 10pm. My pain today has been ok. I haven’t had any sneezes so far but my allergies is making my nose run.

I got a call this morning from my long term disability insurance. They received my paperwork but not my PCP’s. They did their annual phone interview with me then after I sent a message to my pcp about the paperwork. I don’t know if the office is open today or not because I didn’t get a response. Today is Juneteenth, a holiday I don’t understand because the Civil War was over in April of 1865, after the 13^th amendment got ratified in Congress. Slavery was ended. So I don’t understand why when the union army entered Texas on June 19^th 1865, they just didn’t use the 13^th amendment instead of the Emancipation Proclamation.

I am really sad and I don’t really know why. I had a meeting with my therapist today and we talked about the song and my mother and being trans. We also talked about crying and how hard it is for me to do it. The last time I cried was the day my mother died, three years ago. I know there was a time I cried because I was happy but that was baseball related. There also was another song, someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi. Such a moving song it had me in tears the first couple of times I heard it. Now I am listening to it because I forgot what it sounded like. I like that I can find it quickly because it is on my most listened to playlist.