midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 03102026

I finally got to some sleep around 7pm last night. I woke up a few times to pee but for the most part I slept. I didn’t get up till about 3pm. My sister texted me and it woke me up. I figure I would answer it before she called. I had a cup of coffee but I wasn’t hungry. My stomach kind of was unsettled after the coffee and I felt dizzy. I had to lay down for a bit.

I got to do my schoolwork and I am not looking forward to it. I got triggered with the last reading for this class. It’s not a long chapter like the last one was. I got a response from my therapist about it. She agreed to let the professor know it affected me.

My appt with the neuro NP went ok. We agreed to try a new med and she is going to have the nurse look into why the Depakote had issues with my insurance. To my surprise, the new med didn’t cost me anything. I apparently got a coupon for it from the pharmacy. Score!

I am looking at my calendar for the week/month and it is sad. I don’t have the games in there anymore so it is looking kind of bare. I have therapy scheduled and a few doctor appts aside from my classes. I have a midterm coming up in my gender class. It is open book so I hope I do well. I have a family get together tomorrow. I am kind of worried because my aunt (why we are having the get together) has not seen me since I transitioned. Also one cousin who is going hasn’t seen me either. I don’t know how they will react and I am nervous. My beard has come in because I haven’t shaved it in a goatee the past few weeks. I just got lazy. My hair is growing. I have decided if I pass my first test for my history class, I will get shaved at the barbers. I found a place in my town not too far from the Square I can go to and it is cheaper than where I went before. I want the hot towel treatment and this place has it. Last time I didn’t get it and was not happy. He didn’t even use a razor to shave me. I won’t be going back there.

Body dysmorphia

Sox lost last night and I was upset about it. I couldn’t sleep until 2am despite taking a Benadryl and Ativan (at different times). My mind was awake. I didn’t know if I should read and what should I read that I would remember. I ended up just laying down to rest and somehow fell asleep within a half hour, 45 mins.

I woke up tired. I really didn’t want to get out of bed. But it was around noon and I had to because I had to pick up my meds and then I had therapy. I had coffee and half of a half sandwich that I bought yesterday. It was good. After session she sent me some sheets on activities that I could do to improve my mood. Nine pages. It’s a lot of different things. I decided to go to the pharmacy after 2 so I went upstairs and checked to see if I had homework for my networking class. I didn’t.

I went to the pharmacy and then my foot flared up when I got home. My ankle chimed in when I went to grab something. So throughout therapy I was in pain. I also had a sneeze attack. My allergies are off the rocker. I hate this time of year. Today was a pretty warm day. Tomorrow is going to be hotter. Then we go back to the 60s next week, with one day being in the 50s.

Honey was upset for most of the early evening. We fed her and then her parents left and she was sad again, wimpering and such. I went on the bed with her and her mom left some crime show on the TV for her. I decided to do one of my readings for the night so grabbed my book and then sat with her until she decided to lay in her dog bed instead of being near me.

The reading was about makeup and how women beautify their faces as well as what constitutes body dysmorphia disorder. Just reading about it, triggered me. I felt fat. I had made potatoes and chicken for supper but I just ate the potatoes. My stomach was full. I also had another cup of coffee so I could do this homework. Then one of my childhood friends posts that she lost 73 lbs in a year on the GLP1 drug. I was floored. I have only lost 20-25lbs in that same time period. I feel so fat right now. I took a shower and my back flared up. I needed to take one because it has been almost a week since my last one.

I am looking for another cell provider that is lower in cost per month than my current plan, especially as my current provider decided to increase charges.

Patient Zero

I have been listening to patient zero for the last half hour or so. It is stuck in my head. It is a cool song. I haven’t seen the music video of it yet. My stupid youtube search shows just the lyric video.

I woke up three times to pee during the early morning. I slept mostly through the night. I had weird fucking dreams. I kept dreaming I had a car and I had to correct the year it was made. The car was a Toyota Yaris. I have never owned a Yaris. I have owned a Tercel. I loved that car but it fell apart and I had to junk it.

Rookie just got pulled from the roster because of a worsening of his hand injury. Ugh. I know they are going to lose tonight. Sonny doesn’t have confidence in himself. Last night was a huge loss. Snakes starting pitcher had all his stuff and was blowing us away. By the time the 8^th inning hit, I think we only had about 4 base runners, 2 hits and 2 walks. That was it. Tough game.

I had my class on zoom and my stupid internet was giving me trouble. The professor was speaking but her movement was still, so I could hear her but not see her. This is why I always type my blogs on Word or try to. I will use the app some days. Class was good. Next week is the Tea Party day. I can’t believe it a month of class is behind us. I got to finagle how I am going to have a zoom class and then go to my other class on Mon. I think my other class’s classroom is empty so I should be able to use it for zoom. At least I hope so. We’ll see.

I was only able to eat half a sandwich for lunch. My stomach is feel so full. I only had coffee and a small piece of coffeecake for breakfast. My stomach is all over the place. I am either eating too much or small amounts. I took the puppy for a short walk after I ate. She didn’t want to go outside but did want to go for a walk. She peed three times while we were out. I will never understand dog bladders. I never would be able to do that unless I had some medical problem with my bladder.