midnightdemons7

Went out for some wings

I’ve been down most of the day. I was able to shower this morning before therapy. I had coffee when I got dressed. I felt good about showering and being able to brush my teeth. I had a good session with my therapist. She tried to use a CBT worksheet with me but it was too much for my brain. I don’t even remember half of it but it was a lot. She is going to go to something simpler. I told her if we can start with the thoughts, behavior, and feelings that would be a good start. She didn’t think I would go to class today but I tried. I didn’t end up going because of the bus schedule not being in sync. I would have been late to class.

I tried napping but it didn’t happen. I just ended up playing games on my phone. I hate the leftovers that I had from yesterday. My sister texted me asking if I wanted to go to the Pub and I had just finished eating. But went anyway to have a drink. I brought some wings home for tomorrow.

I messaged my pcp about my back because I am still getting spasms and some sciatica, which is more painful than the spasms. They called and I got an appt with her in a couple of weeks. I am glad I am seeing her because I really like my pcp. She assured me that I don’t have CES again. I know I don’t but with my discs being so fucked up, all it takes is sneezing or coughing the wrong way to hurt myself. I keep having calf pain and I know that is because I have been walking more.

Sitting on the stool at the bar really hurt my calf and foot. I am in so much pain right now. I don’t know if I should take a pain med. I need to see my DMH case worker tomorrow. I want to see her and have Starbucks. I still have some money left on the gift card I got. It will be in the afternoon so perfect for having a mocha.

I don’t know if there will be class on Wed as the lower level of the library where we have our class was damaged by the storm. I emailed the professor but haven’t heard back from her yet.

My favorite rookie is starting tomorrow and I am wicked nervous. They have their best pitcher against this rookie. Ugh. I am so looking forward to this game. I just hope I can be up for all 9 innings…

I didn’t sleep good last night because I was in pain. I kept dozing off but wouldn’t sleep. I didn’t have coffee or tea. I had something to eat.

I got an email from my history professor class is canceled tomorrow. I am debating going to the networking class. I did all my assignments in the early morning as I was up. I felt dizzy most of the day. I think it is because I am sleep deprived. It is still cold in my room as it’s still kind of windy out.

I needed to shower today and I didn’t. I will tomorrow. I set the alarm for 8. That should give me enough time. I don’t have to leave early. I have given up shaving. I am going to let my hair and beard grow in.

I got a lot of appts this week. Every day there is something. I am going to be tired come Fri. Just hope the brain fog and headaches are gone by then. I see neuro NP Fri. I see my DMH worker Tues. I am hoping to see her in person so I can get a Starbucks drink. I got a gift card. I am wicked stressed over my finances. I still need to put money on my Tpass and get my weight loss drug. I think I’ve gained more weight because I’ve been eating more. I just feel hungry all the time.

I still feel suicidal at times. Listening to music has helped. Last night I was listening to Terri Clark. I love her. I haven’t listened to music today because my head hurts. Hope i feel better tomorrow.